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Depression, Anxiety, Eating Disorder, Booster Shots, Fear, Control, Cancel Culture and more...

Updated: May 21, 2022

Good Morning Beautiful Day!! I did my meditation this AM and committed to JOY today I joyfully listened to some current events and am now here joyfully expressing myself!!

As difficult as it may be to be open to more than one narrative it is worth it. Closing my eyes to the suffering of others actually depresses me in a Dark way. Seeing the suffering of others and feeling helpless in it also depresses me Deeply but it is a different sort of depression. Through this sort of depression, I feel more love for myself in choosing to see and to be open to understanding more. It is a hard line to walk and I lose the joy in it often…But I have been through a lot over these many years and I see why as it has made me who I am and why I strive to choose to look instead of numb or avoid.

These links here have some great talks from the HOC this past week. Taylor asks a good question near the end of one and gets a good response. The points that these MPs speak to fully address my on-going questions and concerns to what has been going on this past year especially.

Great points made in all of these!!

Motion for rules and services for travel (one with Taylor Bachrach’s question to the motion being proposed. I appreciate his question and the response given.): WHO Conference May 22-28 concerns Emergency Act concerns (I think it is exhausting how often they avoid answering the questions asked…continual going around in circles! This system needs to evolve!)

I have struggled with anxiety and depression pretty much since good ol’ Chandler Park Middle School. I was totally unaware of what was going on throughout those years and high school as I developed chronic fatigue and an eating disorder. Regarding chronic fatigue, no one knew what to do for me as very little was known about chronic fatigue. I was told to rest. Well rest is not easy for an anxious young girl so in came the food to help numb things. I was bulimic not anorexic so it was easy to hide from others and even myself. Crazy how the mind can justify things to cope and try to fit in. Anyways… my journey is my own and one that I have always had the desire to better understand the causes and work towards the solutions. It is not easy…as we all know… life has so many challenges to overcome.

I share this here because I personally do not want to get vaccinated…booster after booster… to fit in. I got my 2 doses, I got covid 6 weeks later and I think I had it as well in the beginning of all this. Covid sucks and I don’t want anyone to get it but I also don’t want anyone to get cancer or starve or overdose and addictions or car accidents or…. We live in a crazy wild world. I do not think though that operating out of fear, control and force is the solution. I have learned this through my own lived experiences. Fear and control still grip me but I am persistently doing the work to let go of these grips more and more and to choose love and connection and faith in myself and in all others journeys.

My eating disorder did not solve my problems…it actually made things worse long term but I am Grateful for it as it got me through hard times and continues to be a device if my emotions are too much for me. I have many other healthier coping tools now though so there is nearly never a need for it. I walk this path!! I worked my ass off to get to this place. I have taken pharmaceuticals only a few times throughout my life but it’s always short lived as it is not the path for me for whatever reason. (I have nothing against anti-depressants for anyone to use…it just was not my path). Anyways, I feel I would like to make my own decision about my body and would like to have more understanding around the different points of views regarding the management of covid and future viruses. I feel that the vaccine is a band aid over and festering infected wound and that if we do not deal or explore the root cause then we are not solving anything. It can serve for a time as my eating disorder served me but for me it is not sustainable, life long boosters and fear is not a path I want to be forced to repeatedly choose.

Anyways…I am being super vulnerable and honest here and I do so because I am tired of the bull shit. Our government needs to sincerely address some of these very concerning issues that many Canadians have. I am grateful for the MPs that speak up, in the links above, for minority groups.

We deserve more open transparent dialogue. We deserve an honest open inquiry into the actions taken over these past 2 years and during the freedom convoy. This is the only way forward to learn from our past and make improvements. We deserve to have our Charter of Rights and Freedoms to be strongly considered in all processes. We deserve to hear more from Brian Peckford and the process around the creation of our Charter of Rights and Freedoms. We deserve to understand why our PM acts differently around the Covid pandemic in other countries…not wearing a mask and following their guidelines instead of the ones in his own country. We deserve to understand why the science around covid is different in Canada. We deserve to understand why anyone can go to hockey games, arenas packed full of people, now but still can’t return to their jobs or fly in our country. We deserve to understand why casinos stayed open and churches shut down during many of the pandemic months. We deserve to understand why people are still not allowed to go back to work due to vaccination status (even if they have had covid). We deserve to understand what the heck World Economic Forum is all about and what our PM arrangements are with this organization…we can’t deny this anymore as it is publicly out there IF one chooses to look and be open to consider it. We deserve to understand why politicians got raises while many are struggling greatly and our country's debt is insane. (Simon Sinek gives the greatest TedTalk about leadership...worth a listen...wish more people lived with that inspiration). We deserve much more understanding around covid and the vaccines from a variety of Highly recognized doctors. The doctors who may oppose or question mainstream narratives should be allowed to at least have an open debate with the other doctors who then can challenge their way of thinking and find the best solutions. I love the discussion in the Toronto Sun last week around why is it a bad thing to be skeptical about things. Why is it now a bad thing to question big corporations and governments, etc. Really appreciated the reporters shared thoughts around this podcast:

Lastly I want to share…A new friend recently said this to me: “I think the point is that government is people! And when the vast majority of citizens disengage the number of “people” running the government becomes very small. That’s what this is all about. I don’t necessarily agree with any one party…” These are wise words …. I have conveniently disengaged from politics for most of my life…I am beginning to see now why it matters and what a privilege it is that we can vote and have or at least use to have some say in things that greatly affect our livelihood, health and well-being.

Anyways… this is a lot here… I share with vulnerability. I am grateful for the Wisdom of Trauma coming to our community among other great community building initiatives taken on by people within our community that believe that fostering connection is important in our healing and thriving through challenging times. I hope many choose to attend and I hope we all can come more and more together to create a trauma-informed society and continue to grow in our community that steps up for one another during hard times.

Have an Awesome Day and Long Weekend!! Enjoy the Sunshine!! xoxoxo .

Big Smiles to you all!! Life is a journey not a destination Climb your mountains, enjoy and embrace the journey and don't take things too seriously! Have fun :)

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